Batman walks the walk
by SuperSekritID
Summary: Stephanie has had a very bad day. She's angry. She's dripping wet. She's wrapped in a towel. She's turned on. And she's in no mood for Ranger innuendo.


**Batman walks the walk**

_Short story using characters created and owned by Janet Evanovich. _

_I use them without permission and derive no profit from their use._

oOoOoOo

I unlocked the door to my apartment, pushed it open with my bare toes and gingerly stepped inside, trying not to drip anything nasty onto the floor. I pushed the door closed again with my feet. I'd lock up later.

Releasing my fingertips, I let go of the straps of my pocketbook so it dropped onto the floor. I walked carefully into the kitchen. A plastic bag was lying handy on the countertop so I dropped my fetid sneakers into it. Trying not to engage my sense of smell, I carefully stripped off my putrid clothes so none of the revolting slaughterhouse gloop covering me could contaminate any kitchen surface. The clothes followed the shoes into the bag and I tied the handles firmly together. I dropped it on the kitchen floor. It reeked of rotting animal remains, but as I was now naked, I couldn't take it outside. Rex would just have to put up with the stench until after my shower.

I made straight for the bathroom, turned the water to full pressure and scrubbed my hair and skin over and over until the water ran cold. Lula and I had tracked Cesare Pingitore to the coin laundry on Roebling. He glanced up from picking his fingernails when we walked in and shot off like a bullet out the back door and over the car park fence into the grounds of the Trenton Halal Packing Company. Lula and I were hot on his tail. He ducked into the slaughterhouse and we gave up the chase when the stench got too much. I was bent double, retching, when Cesare snuck behind me and pushed me into the oversized vat of animal remains headed for the rendering plant. I flailed around in the loathsome muck, almost losing consciousness from the stench, as Cesare laughed his ass off above me on the walkway. Lula finally found a ladder to help me out.

As I got cleaner, I got angrier until I was practically shaking with rage. That rat bastard had deliberately pushed me into a deep vat of rotting, putrid animal effluent. I could have drowned in liquid waste. By the time I got out of the shower, my rage had distilled into a total determination to get Cesare even if it killed me.

"Laugh it up while you can, Pingitore," I muttered as I dried off and wrapped the towel around me. "We'll see if you've got a chuckle left by the time I'm done with you."

I opened the bathroom door and heard the muffled sound of my cell phone from inside my bag in the hall foyer. I gripped the towel and dashed to get it but it went to voicemail.

"Shit!" Phone in hand, I turned to stomp back to my bedroom but stopped short when Ranger stepped out of the kitchen. He leaned his shoulder against the wall in front of me, arms loosely crossed over his chest.

I clutched my hand to my chest. "Jesus, Ranger! You almost gave me a heart attack."

"You should lock your door, babe."

"Bite me. I was in a rush to get to the shower," I snapped. My anger with Cesare was boiling over. "And a fat lot of good it does me to lock my door anyway."

He eyed me slowly, down and then up, the corners of his mouth tipping in appreciation. His eyes had darkened by the time they came back to mine. "You seem a little crazy, babe."

"Yeah? Well I had a shitty afternoon." I didn't give details. Lula and I were the only ones other than Cesare who knew about my swan dive into the vat of effluent and I didn't feel like sharing that particular humiliation with Ranger.

Ranger's eyebrow twitched. "I know where Pingitore will be later tonight. If you want, I'll help you pick him up and you can wreak some vengeance."

My mouth popped open. How the hell did he know? I gave myself a mental head slap. Stupid question. He's Ranger. It pissed me off even more that he knew about the embarrassing event. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Ranger gave me another slow once-over. "I'm admiring the view."

An intense heat flashed through me but my anger was still simmering so I glared at him. He smiled, a rare, full smile that caused my heart to skip beats. "I've got a job for you, babe."

He unravelled his arms and came over to comb his fingers through my dripping hair, pushing it back behind my ears. Then he trailed the back of his fingers down along my neck and across my shoulders and chest above the towel, wiping away the water that had dripped from my hair. My body's response to his fingers on my skin was instantaneous and powerful.

"You're wet, babe."

Well, yeah, _now_ I was. I gripped the top of my thighs together and bit my lips.

"Why don't you go get dressed and then I'll tell you about the job."

Just as he always did, Ranger had stoked my fire and now he was backing off, leaving me in a serious state – for days! My temper rose alongside my desire. "I don't feel like talking about the job. I want to get into some clean clothes, watch _Ratatouille_ and eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's. Why don't you call me later and we'll make a business appointment."

One eyebrow curved up. "You're a little testy, babe. You need my help to release some of that tension?"

My jaw dropped again. I think my intention was to blast him but I can't be sure, due to my mind becoming instantly engaged in a fantasy involving a naked Ranger.

He took my chin between fingers and thumb but he didn't close my mouth. He lowered his head and brushed his parted lips across mine. "I should have come earlier. You know I'm good in the shower."

I swayed momentarily. ThenI skinnied my eyes at him and backed away a step. Distance from Ranger is essential when I try to kickstart my cognitive functions, and even distance rarely helps. "You often say that, Ranger, but frankly, it's been a while and I can't remember the details."

Ranger's lips twitched with amusement. "Liar."

I flushed, feeling the heat rise all the way to the roots of my hair. Caught. I remembered exactly how good Ranger is in the shower, and in a lot of other locations, too. Every moment of our one night of intimacy was indelibly imprinted onto my brain, not to mention every kiss and close encounter he'd poached since.

"Tell you what," Ranger said as he took a step to close the distance I had created, his eyes black and predatory, "I could give you a reminder."

That's it. He'd pushed my buttons one time too many, and this time, thanks to Cesare Pingitore, my blood was up enough to push back.

"You know what I think, Ranger? I think you're all talk. _I'm good in the shower, babe; I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down; A condom might come in handy; I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman; I'll be back in your bed if the Morelli time out goes on for too long;_ _I'm an opportunist. _Sound familiar? Well, Morelli's out of my bed. What are you waiting for, Batman? An engraved invitation?"

I boldly met his eyes, challenging him, but the look on his face made me shiver. The habitual blank mask was gone and his expression was dangerous. He backed me into the wall, leaning into me to hold me in place, his hands against the wall on either side of my shoulders and his eyes pinning me.

"You and Morelli are a revolving door. You think I'm going to keep his place warm until you decide you're on again? I'm no man's place holder, Stephanie. What I claim as mine, I keep."

I'm a nice girl from the 'burg. Brazen doesn't come naturally to me and the instinct to retreat and deny was strong. On the other hand, Ranger was so close, his body heat melting into me and his scent overriding all my inhibitions. Now or never.

"Morelli and I are done and over with. I'm never going back. And you promised you could make me forget him. I'm offering you the opportunity."

Ranger pushed his thigh between mine and wrapped his hands around my ribs, pressing me close so I molded to him. He lowered his head to nuzzle my face, our lips brushing. He murmured against my mouth, "You better be sure, babe, because I don't share. I'm in your bed, you're mine."

His mouth continued to tantalize mine and I breathed in the warmth of his soft exhalations. He tasted my lips, taking them between the firm, full softness of his own and the muscular strength of his body moved against me. My thinking processes were hijacked, my senses totally immersed in essence of Ranger, but it sounded to me like he had just promised something more than a single night of fire and magic. A thrill of anticipation shot through me.

I brought my hands up behnd him, onto the sculpted landscape of his back and gripped him closer. I wanted to make sure he wasn't getting away this time. "Oh, I'm completely sure," I pledged, nipping his lower lip between my teeth and tugging before I let go. "Stake your claim, Ranger, as long as you know it cuts both ways."

We paused for an endless moment, staring into each other's eyes, bodies touching from nose to toes. The throb of my racing pulse sounded in my ears and Ranger's heart pounded against my chest. Then he smiled and my heart stuttered. His smile always makes me weak at the knees and this smile was so open and loving and playful, holding nothing back. I smiled back and his eyes, intense and hungry, fixed on my mouth. His face became feral, predatory. His hips shifted against mine and my breath hitched. I rose on my toes to reach his mouth and he took me.

Nothing can compare to this kiss. I felt I had never been kissed before. A dormant part of me had been waiting all my life for this one kiss to wake me. My skin came alive with the hot pleasure of it and my bones liquified. Ranger possessed my mouth with sweetness and ferocity, with tenderness and passion, with a carnal intensity that rocked my foundations. He moved from my mouth to my neck, covering the exposed skin from my earlobes to the hollows of my shoulders with luscious, succulent caresses of his mouth and tongue. And then he bit the skin at the hollow of my neck and sucked it into his mouth. I gasped at the exquisite pain of it and opened my eyes.

Ranger lifted his head and kissed the tip of my nose then reached across to lock all the locks on my door and slide the chain across. He pulled my arm away from his back and took my cell phone out of my hand, switched it off and tossed it into my pocketbook. His cell was removed from his pocket to suffer the same fate as mine. Then he moved away from my body just far enough to unwind the towel from around me. It dropped to the floor and Ranger took his time to sweep his eyes over me. He gave a low, suppressed groan.

He picked me up and my legs wrapped around his hips, one big hand cradling and caressing my butt, the other on my back and in my hair, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around him, hoping, wishing that I'd never have to let go. I pulled out the tie to release his hair and nuzzled his neck, inhaling the unique, intimate scent I loved.

Ranger turned toward my bedroom. "Let's go stake our claims, babe, and make up for lost time."

oOoOoOo

Author's note:

I don't know what made me do it. I'm supposed to be editing the manuscript of a memoir, not stealing time to indulge my favourite secret vice. And if I was to steal time, I should surely be devoting it to **The Usual Mayhem.** Oh well. Procrastination wins again.


End file.
